Doug Turner’s neighborhood gatherings aren’t just parties. They’re proof that kindness, like fine wine, gets better with age. At 87, Doug hasn’t retreated into solitude. Instead, he uses winter as a reason to invite his neighbors to celebrate with him. His handwritten hand-delivered invitations reflect a lifetime of understanding the power of connection. Science is just catching up to Doug. We’re just finding out that kindness flourishes as we grow older. His sense of humor doesn’t hurt either. According to Doug’s invitations, his parties usually last “until the cops come.”
Debunking the ‘Grumpy Old Person’ Myth
We’ve all heard the stereotype of the cranky senior citizen, but studies suggest that, in reality, people tend to become more compassionate with age. Researchers have linked this shift to rising oxytocin levels, the “feel-good” hormone associated with trust, generosity, and emotional bonding. As life’s experiences accumulate, so does our capacity for empathy. Perhaps wisdom isn’t just about knowing more—it’s about caring more.
Why Kindness Ages Well
As we age, we gain perspective. Small annoyances lose their power, and relationships take precedence over fleeting frustrations. We begin to seek more meaning in our interactions, valuing connection over conflict. Doug’s story is a perfect example. While his gatherings are much enjoyed social events, they’re way more than that. His get togethers are a way to create and nurture the bonds that keep a community strong.
The Ripple Effect
One act of kindness can create ripples that extend far beyond what we see. When Doug delivered his party invitations, his neighbor Michelle Hernandez was so touched that she shared the story online. To date nearly 2 million people saw it. Not on social media himself, his daughter provided a mailing address and many people even wrote him letters, touched by his generosity and spirit. In a world that sometimes feels disconnected, his simple gesture of hospitality resonated with people far beyond his neighborhood.
Intentionally Becoming Kinder With Age
While research suggests we naturally become kinder as we age, we can also nurture this quality intentionally. How? Start by taking some cues from Doug. Reach out to neighbors and strangers. You can start not only a conversation but a friendship by simply saying hello.
Doug also took the time to write, as in hand write, letters to his neighbors. His humorous invitations were a powerful act of kindness that brought his neighbors together.
Also, don’t be afraid to play host. Doug didn’t wait for people to invite him, he invited them first. By channeling your inner Doug there are probably many more ways you can make intentionally becoming kinder your own.
Kindness Takes on a Life of It’s Own
Doug’s story is a reminder that kindness isn’t just an individual act. Once you start showing people genuine kindness, that kindness starts to grow and take on a life of it’s own. Doug’s willingness to open his home, to bring people together, and to continue fostering relationships even in his later years proves that aging isn’t about fading away. He showed even the 20 and 30 year-olds in his neighborhood that aging is about shining brighter. Kindness is actually a gift that grows with time. The more we share our kindness, the richer our life and the lives of those around us become.
If you missed Doug’s party, you’re in luck. Here’s some of the video…
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